lost in thought: be back later

we are all who we are. there are millions of different personality types and no one is exactly the same. some of us are nice, others are mean. some are friendly and some stick to themselves. traits come in opposites like this. they are labeled as either a bad characteristic or a good one. but maybe that isn't necessarily true, in order to have a good there must be a bad.




we are all made this way for a reason. we are who we are. and the way we are is for a reason. you might hate yourself and everything about who you are, but you know what your personality is good and it is who you are and that is who you were made to be. taking someone else's personality might make you feel good about yourself and who you are, but someone will miss the personality that is all yours.



or maybe, thats not the way it is. maybe we are all borrowing a personality for the first little while and we need to create our own as we go through our lives. maybe we create our personalities from the people we meet and with whom we associate. maybe we are meant to start out with an empty jar labeled 'who i am' and as we meet new people and make new friends we take little bits of them to add to our jars until we are all a patchwork quilt of qualities that we like and that make us proud to be us, that make us want to stand on top of a roof and tell everyone who we are.



what i do know, is that i want to be the kind of person that uplifts other and who makes others want to be better people. i want to be a loving, caring, and nice person that people want to be around. i hope my personality quilt tells people that i am trusting, and that i care. i want people to know that i have been hurt and i have been broken, but i have built myself back up. i want to let them know that i fall in love quickly and deeply and i dont care if they know who i am. i am in love with the idea of people, and sometimes i dont want to get close to them because sometimes it will destroy the image i have of them in my head. i want them to see that i do my best to include everyone that i can and that i am not intimidating, they need to know that i am self conscious too, and that i don't think i am perfect. i want them to think the opposite of everything they do now. i need them to know who i really am. but how do i make them see what they refuse to?



"so i guess we are who we are and we will never know most of the reasons why."